What is an Orgasm and What Does it Feel Like?

Remember those painfully awkward sex education classes at school? We certainly do; from the fiddly task of putting condoms on bananas to the endless lists of possible STIs. But one thing that we didn’t seem to learn enough about during sex education were orgasms; particularly female orgasms. 

So let’s set the record straight! Here’s everything you need to know…

An orgasm can generally be defined as a feeling of intense pleasure that happens during sexual activity. ^[1] Orgasms usually involve a feeling of release after a build-up of sexual stimulation – a little bit like the excitement and anticipation you feel when climbing up a rollercoaster, followed by the rush of adrenaline when you suddenly swoosh down the tracks. With an orgasm though, this feeling of release also results in the contraction of the penis or vagina, as well as your pelvic muscles too. ^[2] 

Even though it’s generally acknowledged that all orgasms feel great, given that during one your body releases endorphins that make you feel giddy and happy; everyone will have their own unique physical response to an orgasm. For example, along with feeling the contractions in your genital muscles, it’s also normal for you to maybe experience shortness of breath, a sudden hot flash, sweating, a warm fuzzy feeling in your genitals, body spasms, an urge to moan or cry out (or even all of the above!). ^[3] 

Male orgasms nearly always involve the ejaculation of a whitish-grey, jelly textured liquid from the tip of their penis. This liquid is called semen and contains a mixture of sperm and other bodily fluids too. And even though it’s possible for females to also ejaculate a clear fluid (sometimes known as squirting) during orgasms, it’s not as common. ^[4] 

Your own orgasms can also vary from time to time; some days you may have big orgasms that feel like fireworks are being set off inside your body, making you want to shriek with joy and other days you may experience just a small squeeze in your vaginal muscles that still feels just as good, but a little different. Whatever your type of orgasm, remember to enjoy it – it’s a great form of physical and emotional release!

Orgasms are usually a physical reaction to sexual stimulation. But sexual stimulation can happen in a variety of different ways, and it doesn’t only occur when having sex! There are many ways that you can be stimulated sexually (or even non-sexually!) that will result in you having an orgasm. 

You will probably find that you have a preference when it comes to stimulation and if you haven’t found out what suits you yet, that’s ok too! Give your body time to adjust and experiment new things with the help of your husband.

External clitoral stimulation 

Your glans clitoris is located at the very front of your vulva and most of it can’t be seen from the outside as it is largely hidden under a fold of skin called the clitoral hood. Even though it’s small, the clitoris is mighty, containing over 15,000 nerve endings! ^[5] So you can bet your buck that stimulating the clitoris is going to get you feeling sexually aroused and may even result in an orgasm. 

Given its shape, the clitoris can be stimulated either directly through touching or rubbing the general vulva area (by your partner), and it can also be stimulated internally through the vagina during penetration. When you become sexually aroused, the clitoris will swell up due to an increase in blood flow, before returning back to its original size a little while after.

Internal vaginal stimulation

Vaginal stimulation occurs when the vaginal muscles are activated during penetrative sexual activities. It’s also possible though for the clitoris to be stimulated through the vagina too! So you may not be able to tell the difference between a vaginal and a clitoral orgasm – but both feel just as good. 

Other stimulation

It’s not only your vagina and clitoris that have the power to get you going; a whole variety of things may leave you feeling sexually aroused. You may get excited by someone touching your boobs, anus, feet, ears, tummy – the list is endless! 

You can also reach an orgasm while exercising (through increased blood flow to the genital muscles), sleeping or even sitting down in a chair (as certain positions can make it easier for you to activate your pelvic muscles without any physical touch at all). It all depends on your own personal taste, so don’t get caught up on what turns other people on; find out what you like and what suits your body.

Yes, orgasms feel amazing but the success of sexual activity shouldn’t be based around if you climax or not – after all it’s about the sexual experience as a whole, not just the end result! You also don’t need to have an orgasm just to impress your partner – just because both people seem to miraculously climax at the same moment each time they have sex in movies; we can tell you that this is a very unrealistic expectation.

It’s also completely normal to not be able to have an orgasm on some days, or for certain periods of time; sometimes you may not be in the mood; maybe you’re already feeling sexually satisfied that day or you could just simply be feeling tired. 

On a more serious note, there may be instances where you can’t orgasm due to past trauma or as a side-effect of taking certain medicine – remember it’s your body and no one should pressure or expect it to react in a particular way. There are always doctors and sex therapists that you can talk to about these topics if you want to. It’s also useful to bear in mind that as you grow older and learn more about your body, you will begin to recognise what your own sexual preferences are – so be patient and give yourself time! 

At the end of the day, consensual sexual activity with a partner is supposed to be fun, enjoyable and empowering. You may not even like orgasming and that’s totally fine too! Plus, you don’t need to have an orgasm to enjoy sex; instead take the pressure off yourself, let your body lead the way and enjoy the ride!

The medical information in this article is provided as an information resource only, and is not to be used or relied on for any diagnostic or treatment purposes. Please consult your doctor for guidance about a specific medical condition.

^[1] https://www.nhs.uk/common-health-questions/sexual-health/what-is-an-orgasm/ 

^[2] https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/orgasm 

^[3]  Safron, Adam. “What is orgasm? A model of sexual trance and climax via rhythmic entrainment.” Socioaffective neuroscience & psychology vol. 6 31763. 25 Oct. 2016 

^[4] https://www.issm.info/sexual-health-qa/do-women-ejaculate/ 

^[5] https://www.healthline.com/health/womens-health/clitoral-hood